Being Original

People LOVE being original. Everyone wants to be the one who found Fred Again.. before he blew up or went to Croatia before it was cool. Something about the idea of others following in our footsteps gives our actions meaning and makes us feel validated.

But why is this so satisfying? If you enjoy something, why should you care if others enjoy it too?

I believe the answer lies in the way we individualize.

Growing up, we’re taught to imitate others. We watch the actions of those around us to learn how to act ourselves. We see what hurts others to know how not to hurt ourselves. And we pick up the interest of others to fit in, feel accepted, and be “normal.” By allowing our interests, feelings, and actions to be dictated by the wills of others, we lose the ability for original thought. In return, we gain acceptance from our peers and feel satisfied.

As we mature, our priorities shift.

Acceptance from others becomes less important, and we replace it with the need to accept ourselves. Those around us develop social status, intelligence, athleticism, looks, wealth, etc., and we are urged to do the same. Here, our thoughts and feelings are still influenced by others, but in exactly the opposite fashion. Instead of adhering to consensus, we break away from it. It still determines our thoughts and feelings, but the choice to break away makes us feel unique and individual.

I often find people stuck in this stage. Their pursuit of individualization causes an overcorrection in which their entire identity revolves around being “anti-consensus.” They find themselves hating the system, hating what’s popular, and striving to be “abnormal” without having a good reason why. They may find themselves offended quickly. They may have difficulty being around those with different viewpoints. They may be quick to judge someone for listening to Drake while feeling unique and alt because, instead, they listen to Bon Iver.

The act of “being different” helps them feel worthy and makes their thoughts feel profound. Unfortunately, they don’t realize being anti-consensus for its own sake is just as unoriginal, if not more so, than conforming.

In other words, they fail to recognize that true individualization relies on releasing the idea that one must be unique or different. It’s not a thought’s uniqueness that makes it original. It’s the fact that it was yours, uninfluenced by the thoughts or opinions of those around you.

If the first step of individualization is to fit in and the second step is to stand out, the final step is finding our place in the middle — The area we feel most comfortable, where our own ideas drive us more than the ideas of those around us.

It shouldn’t feel weird to be the odd one out, and you shouldn't be ashamed to have a consensus opinion. If you enjoy something, you enjoy it, and if you don’t, you don’t.

You can like Bad Bunny and still consider yourself an indie aficionado.

You can find Marvel entertaining and still attend film festivals.

The vast majority of our thoughts are unoriginal. That is OKAY. Accept it. Embrace it. The sooner you do, the sooner you’ll find yourself being truly original.

-Harrison