Discipline, Motivation, and 75 Hard

I’ve been told countless times that I give off the impression of discipline — Someone who knows how to get things done and can stick to his word. It’s an impression I’m glad I give, but one I don’t deserve.

Not yet, at least.

I remember working late at a buddy's house one night while hanging with friends and having my friends comment, “Man, Harrison is a badass, that mofo simply gets after it.” What they didn’t know was I’d procrastinated for 6 hours earlier that day, and working at that moment was out of necessity, not because I was a “grinder.”

Another time, I was having a late-night conversation with a friend, opening up about my lack of discipline, and he said,” Dude, I couldn’t be less worried about you. I’ve never seen anyone grind like you do, especially while traveling.”

We were in the middle of a road trip through the US, snowboarding and hiking. What he didn’t know was I’d skipped snowboarding that day to spend five hours completing less than an hour of work. It happened several times throughout our trip, and it always left me with an oppressive feeling of dissatisfaction and disappointment. When he’d return from the day and ask if I got good work done, I’d say yes. I was scared to admit, both to him and myself, that the day was a wash. And I think lying to him about it made it easier to lie to myself.

I have countless other examples, but I think you catch my drift. The people in my life believe I’m better than I am and see potential in someone who doesn’t deserve it… at least not yet.

They see my dreams and ambition, the little moments of discipline I scrounge, my way of talking, and they assume those things mean my success is a given. But I know something they don’t.

It’s all a front. What they don’t see are all the times I tell myself I’ll do something, and then I don’t. All the times I know I could’ve done better, but didn’t. All the times I started something hard only to get distracted and move on, which is just a nice way of saying I gave up.

They don’t see these, but I do. And I’m fucking sick of it. I feel like a fraud, like I’m living a lie. I know, without a doubt in my mind, I have the ability to live up to everything I say… I’m just not doing it, not yet.

It’s time to make a change.

Six weeks ago, on the night of my 26th birthday, I hung this up on my mirror.

Since then, those rules, especially the third one, have been impossible to ignore. There’s a unique type of mental confidence and self-worth that comes from keeping promises to yourself. I’ve been testing myself each day, and I can say without a doubt in my mind — the days I keep my promises are better days. I’m happier, I feel more satisfied, and suprisingly, I actually feel lighter. It’s an incredible weight off my shoulders to know I committed to something that day and did it. To live that day, not as a fraud, but as a badass.

Each time I make a promise to myself and fall back on it, I not only step away from my goals, but I also provide justification for the next time I want to stop something hard. If I quit my run halfway through, what does it matter if I don’t finish this work task? Or if I skip my run entirely tomorrow?

It’s a slippery slope, and each decision is a vote in one direction or the other — Toward the person I know I can be or away from him.

I say all this to say that today, I’m making a new promise to myself. I’m ready to become the person my loved ones see me to be. But looking at patterns in my life, it’s clear I need help. I can’t do it alone.

That's why I’m committing to a program a few others I respect have done. Today, I’m starting 75 Hard.

If you’re not familiar with the program, it can be summed down to a test of self-control and discipline. Each day, for 75 days in a row, I will adhere to the following rules:

1. I will complete two 45-minute workouts each day. One must be outside, and they must be at least three hours apart.

2. I will read at least 10 pages of a non-fiction book each day.

3. I will not drink alcohol.

4. I will only eat between 11am - 9pm each day.

5. No pastries, and my only dessert will be chocolate, capped at two squares per day (this one is very sad. I love cookies and muffins).

6. I will drink a gallon of water each day (this one is pretty easy, I already do it).

7. I will take a progress photo each day.

Most importantly, there are no exceptions and no cheat days. If I miss one of these rules on any day of the program, I start over.

Today is Thursday, August 29th, 2024, and it’s Day 1. I already had a run + swim this morning and read 10 pages of Tim Urban's "What's Our Problem." This afternoon, I'm going to do a 25-minute beginner yoga session and have a walk.

Here's my progress photo today.

Day 75, and the final day of the program is November 12, 2024.

By that point, I expect I'll have:

• Launched RVC officially and be generating revenue

• Finished Ship 30 for 30, another challenge where I write 30 essays in 30 days

• Hitting the 7-mile town lake loop in prep for a half marathon in Feb

Wish me luck, and if you would like to join me on the challenge, feel free to reach out on any of my socials (at the top right of this page on desktop and in the dropdown nav menu on phone).

I may update this weekly, and maybe not… I haven't decided. If not, I'll see you on November 12 with a rundown of the program and what it did for me. Until then!

— Harrison

Quick update from Sep 3, 2024 (Day 6 of the program) — I had a "nightmare" last night in which I ate a chicken wing during my fasting hours. I was so incredibly disappointed in myself, and it took a few minutes this morning to remember it was a dream. I was fully prepared to start again from day 1 (which I guess is good?).

I find it fascinating my subconscious deemed this important enough to give me dreams about it, especially after less than a week. Anywho, things are going well so far… my body is physically exhausted, and I'm still very hungry during my fasting period. However, the sugar cravings are beginning to disappear, and my energy level / productivity has been much higher than usual in the past 3-4 days.

Ironic I'm writing this to update to procrastinate my actual work. I guess it's time to get back to it.

— Harrison