Joy and Purpose

This weekend, I took a leap of faith. I went against every skeptical fiber of my being and decided to attend a retreat… gasp.

Run by a random dude I found on Twitter / X, it set off every alarm bell I had. It was held in a sketchily picturesque Airbnb roughly an hour deep in the Austin Hill Country. There was no itinerary and no prior information. All I knew was I’d join 11 other dudes, none of whom had their phones, to stay in an Airbnb for three nights in the middle of nowhere.

Cue the horror movie music, amiright?

In a wild turn of events, it ended up being one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. It was a journey of deep reflection on my being, purpose, and identity that rocked me to my core and literally brought me to tears for the first time in 18 months. While I don't care to rehash it all now, I want to discuss what I believe was the experience’s pivotal moment: a seemingly simple exercise of writing a letter to my current self from the perspective of my 100-year-old self.

Initially, the prompt felt pointless. I had no idea what to write or how it would help… But as I put pen to paper, something shifted. I entered a trance-like state, and my hand took a life of its own.

It wrote:

“You will find joy and satisfaction in your work, but more from simply engaging with the people around you. Your family will grow to be some of the most important companions in your life, but to be the best companion to them, you must not let your friendships wane.

Your ideals and values may change, but your pursuit of alignment will not. Do not fret on the journey there. The path will wind up, down, left, and right, but that does not mean you are lost. That is simply its nature. Accept it. Embrace it.

Do not worry about the thoughts of others. Most will not understand your journey, and you should not expect them to.

Keep pushing forward. I love you, and you are wonderful. Life is wonderful. Embrace it. Enjoy it. Live it to the fullest, and don’t forget to share that joy with others. That is what will lead you. That is your compass.”

With that final word, the pen fell out of my hand, and I jolted back to consciousness — I felt I’d awakened from a dream. The words on the paper below me were foreign, as though they'd been written by a hand other than my own. But as I glanced down to reread them, everything clicked into place.

As a child, companionship was my compass. It was the single thing I craved most, yet it remained elusive. More often than not, I felt lonely and out of place. Unwanted and unloved. Other kids rarely invited me to activities outside of school, and when they did, it felt forced.

Let me tell you… That feeling. Sucked. Ass.

I hated it, and so I tried to change it. I bent my will and struggled to fit in, changing my clothes, my activities, my language, and my interests. The real me was still there, reading fantasy books and playing Wizard 101, but I did my best to suppress him.

It showed.

In hindsight, it's obvious people could smell my inauthenticity from a mile away. We often believe confidence is magnetic, but confidence is only a byproduct of living true to yourself. And the energy your authenticity or lack thereof promotes to others is equally present within yourself.

When you act true to your nature, your best version emerges. Call it productivity, self-actualization, or whatever you'd like — the end result is the same. You become more articulate and more decisive. What before took effort, straining, and struggling now “comes of itself.” You act spontaneously, reach the peak of your creativity, and seem more trustworthy and reliable to both the outsider and yourself. You seem a better bet.

This is the source of self-belief, and that letter revealed mine. My source of authenticity, the single thing that brings me the most joy in the world, is sharing what I love with others. That is my compass, my direction. I believe it may be my purpose.

And through this lens, almost every aspect of my being falls into place.

• My love for concerts / live music, and why I spend so much time creating playlists I can share with others (I’ll throw some of my current favorites at the bottom of this post).

• My love of hosting people and the hyper-active state I enter to ensure the vibe makes everyone feel welcome and included.

• My love of travel and the unique experiences I share with the people I meet.

• My love for activities like hiking, surfing, and snowboarding and the incredible memories they foster.

Hell, even my urge to create this website makes more sense. I wanted a place to share the thoughts I love with the people who care enough to read them. It also explains my urge toward entrepreneurship AND the "lack of commitment" I noticed on that journey.

• Why did I start a clothing brand when I had no interest in selling the clothes I made? Turns out, it wasn’t the clothing I loved. It was the experiences that clothing was meant to represent. (that said, I won’t complain if you decide to buy a hat 😊).

• Why did I start a VC ghostwriting agency only to learn I hated it a few months later? I didn't love the product I gave my clients because I only love writing when I write for myself.

• Why did "want" to help people break into VC, only to perpetually procrastinate creating content on that topic? It wasn’t VC I loved. It was the curiosity VC allowed me to pursue and I’d argue my potential clients are better served to pursue that curiosity in its own form.

This weekend showed me that my pull toward entrepreneurship arose from a need to create something I love and share it with the world. To this point, I didn’t love the things I’d created. That’s what was missing. That thing I’ve been searching for is finally staring me in the face, and it’s clear as day

So, what does this mean for my work now?

Another thing I realized this weekend is all the best decisions I’ve made in life were ones I made spontaneously — following my intuition without much plan or thought. As a result, I'm going to follow my intuition now and keep that answer to myself. If it works out and I realize I've created something I love, I promise you'll hear about it.

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Before I go, I want to thank Danny and the rest of the crew. This weekend allowed me to better understand my nature and provided many of the answers I've searched for over these past few years. You are all wonderful people, and our time together has planted a seed that may fundamentally alter the course of my life.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. <3

Andddd last but not least, I'm dropping a few of my favorite quotes from the weekend and some of the playlists I mentioned. I hope they bring you some of the joy they’ve brought me 😊

Until next time ✌🏽

— Harrison

Quotes

• “We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become.” — David Hawkins

• “Just take the next, most obvious step.” — Danny Miranda

• “If it's a mental game, I can play it.” — Joe Moignard-Clark

• “Everything you’ve wanted to be, you’ve always been.” — Tim Doyle

Playlists

• unwind - slightly funky, slightly trippy, but always 10/10 vibes

• ruminations - nighttime soundtrack to tickle something deep in your soul

• fluffy clouds - for days in the park, times with friends, and general good vibes